Brad and I are dong well. He is still working at Edy's Ice cream and I work at our Church First Assembly of God as the Student Ministry Admin. It's 28 hours but feels more like 50 some days :). We still help with the youth. The funny thing is when we lived in Oregon we helped with a youth group named Ignited :) we actually found a logo that we were inspired by on google images and it is the logo from the Youth Group Brad and I are now at called Ignite. Makes me laugh to think about God's sense of humor.
Life has been pretty normal since we have moved. The last couple months have seemed a little difficult but I trust God to get us out of these tough times. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...It does go dim sometimes though. Well last year Brad and I started trying for kids. Which has been hard at times. I went to the doctor to get checked out so I could be sure I was healthy and able to have kids. Thats when I found out that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It was actually nice to figure out what was going on even though it has made it harder to have kids. I am still leaning on God's promises though.
When I found out what I had I was a bit crushed and wondered what else was going to hit me. Well yet again another health issue. While I was being checked for PCOS the doctor found a lump in my breast. I about had a heart attack when she told me. And of course doctors aren't the best with words at times and since I was so stunned I had no clue to ask questions. Once I calmed down the Doctor scheduled an appointment at the breast diagnostic center, I was so scared I just kept praying the whole day asking God to not let it be cancer. I remember when I told Brad how he first did not believe me that they found a lump.
Well, during the week wait to go to my exam I was seeking God for answers and comfort. I remember the day after my appointment where they found the lump I was at ease about the whole situation. God gave me complete peace in that moment. I just told myself, "God is bigger than this lump!" it is not mine and I surrendered my worry to Christ. It's funny to me to think how I reacted that day. I would have never thought I would revert to the thought that God is in control and knows my every need.
I usually would freak out and most likely would have a panic attack (use to be a common occurrence). Thank God it was not cancer though. I went in for my ultra sound and the Technician was very quiet and I was about to start crying when she told me that it looked like fibroadenoma which is a benign tumor. They may have to remove it later on in my life but I am believing God my healer to remove it Himself!
One thing I am thankful for in all this was the fact that my mom moved in with us at the time that all this was going on. She really helped me to be calm about the whole thing and was very supportive. So on to this year, I really thought that with the new year everything would calm down. Well it didn't at the end of January Brads Great Uncle passed away from his battle with cancer. We really believed God was going to heal him but sometimes he throws a curveball at you or 2 or 3. A week later Brads Grandpa Gerald passed away. We were thankfully able to fly home that week and attend Gerald's funeral and visit our family but then that week the day before we planned on visiting Brad's dear Great Grandmother she passed away from falling into a coma. In three weeks we lost three family members that we loved and were not able to say goodbye to.
It really hurt to see our family get hit so hard. I did not understand why and I still do not but the main thing is they all are enjoying the presence of Almighty God. They have no more pain or sorrow. It makes me tear up just thinking about them but I know they are in a better place and one day I will be greeted by them when I get to heaven's gates.
So as you can see this year and last year have been a little tough and hard to bare. I know it would have been a lot harder if I was not a believer in God and if I did not have a relationship with him. Some may say that I am foolish for following Christ but I know the truth. I know that God is real, that without him some things in life would be unbearable. Christ is not just a crutch people hold onto during troubling times he is a Rock that keeps us above rising waters. I truly am grateful for what Christ did on the Cross at Calvary, he took on my sin and shame so one day I can get to heaven where there is no pain, no sorrow, no hunger, or thirst. So one day I can be with him in all His Glory.
Life has been pretty normal since we have moved. The last couple months have seemed a little difficult but I trust God to get us out of these tough times. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...It does go dim sometimes though. Well last year Brad and I started trying for kids. Which has been hard at times. I went to the doctor to get checked out so I could be sure I was healthy and able to have kids. Thats when I found out that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It was actually nice to figure out what was going on even though it has made it harder to have kids. I am still leaning on God's promises though.
When I found out what I had I was a bit crushed and wondered what else was going to hit me. Well yet again another health issue. While I was being checked for PCOS the doctor found a lump in my breast. I about had a heart attack when she told me. And of course doctors aren't the best with words at times and since I was so stunned I had no clue to ask questions. Once I calmed down the Doctor scheduled an appointment at the breast diagnostic center, I was so scared I just kept praying the whole day asking God to not let it be cancer. I remember when I told Brad how he first did not believe me that they found a lump.
Well, during the week wait to go to my exam I was seeking God for answers and comfort. I remember the day after my appointment where they found the lump I was at ease about the whole situation. God gave me complete peace in that moment. I just told myself, "God is bigger than this lump!" it is not mine and I surrendered my worry to Christ. It's funny to me to think how I reacted that day. I would have never thought I would revert to the thought that God is in control and knows my every need.
I usually would freak out and most likely would have a panic attack (use to be a common occurrence). Thank God it was not cancer though. I went in for my ultra sound and the Technician was very quiet and I was about to start crying when she told me that it looked like fibroadenoma which is a benign tumor. They may have to remove it later on in my life but I am believing God my healer to remove it Himself!
One thing I am thankful for in all this was the fact that my mom moved in with us at the time that all this was going on. She really helped me to be calm about the whole thing and was very supportive. So on to this year, I really thought that with the new year everything would calm down. Well it didn't at the end of January Brads Great Uncle passed away from his battle with cancer. We really believed God was going to heal him but sometimes he throws a curveball at you or 2 or 3. A week later Brads Grandpa Gerald passed away. We were thankfully able to fly home that week and attend Gerald's funeral and visit our family but then that week the day before we planned on visiting Brad's dear Great Grandmother she passed away from falling into a coma. In three weeks we lost three family members that we loved and were not able to say goodbye to.
It really hurt to see our family get hit so hard. I did not understand why and I still do not but the main thing is they all are enjoying the presence of Almighty God. They have no more pain or sorrow. It makes me tear up just thinking about them but I know they are in a better place and one day I will be greeted by them when I get to heaven's gates.
So as you can see this year and last year have been a little tough and hard to bare. I know it would have been a lot harder if I was not a believer in God and if I did not have a relationship with him. Some may say that I am foolish for following Christ but I know the truth. I know that God is real, that without him some things in life would be unbearable. Christ is not just a crutch people hold onto during troubling times he is a Rock that keeps us above rising waters. I truly am grateful for what Christ did on the Cross at Calvary, he took on my sin and shame so one day I can get to heaven where there is no pain, no sorrow, no hunger, or thirst. So one day I can be with him in all His Glory.
Brittany you have a beautiful soul. I believe God rewards his children by bringing them home and even though death is something we never take easily, there IS peace in the truth of heaven. God bless you and your family, I know you will give your love to the people who need it, even though your hoping to be able to give love to children of your own soon I know you will give it away freely to all those youth who need it. <3 Amanda Walker
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear about your loss :(. you will come through on the other side i promise you this. i dont know what it is like to lose 3 family members in 3 weeks by any means but i know what it means to have loss. keep fighting, keep pursuing, keep going, but most of all cry when you need to cry. I am believing with you and your husband that you will have a child. i know it can happen, ive heard about it and i know that it can. Keep believing. Nice to hear from you brittany. May God Bless you.
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